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From: Dub
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
RED Neck Joke

I love you in different languages.


English..... I Love You
Spanish..... Te Amo
French...... Je T'aime
German...... Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese.... Ai Shite Imasu
Italian..... Ti Amo
Chinese..... Wo Ai Ni
Swedish..... Jag Alskar Dig
Eskimo...... Nagligivaget
Greek....... S'Agapo
Hawaiian.... Aloha Wau la Oe
Irish....... Thaim In Grabh Leat
Hebrew...... Ani Ohev Otakh
Russian..... Ya Lyublyu Tyebya
Albanian.... Une Te Dua
Finnish..... Mina Rakkastan Sinua
Turkish..... Seni Seviyorum
Hungarian... Se Ret Lay
Persian..... Du Stet Daram
Maltese..... ien Inhobbok
Catalan..... Testimo Molt

Redneck..... Nice Tits
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From: cfh
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
That's a good one alright, Dub. I wonder what the male redneck says to the female redneck as an answer :)
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From: Dub
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
No they are not implants.
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From: yummymummy
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
Yay, Friday joke is back....... :)
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From: Dub
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
A woman says to her husband that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Husband: "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
Wife: "How do I do it without surgery?"
Husband: "Just rub toilet paper between them".
Startled, the wife asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
Husband: "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
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From: ejb
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
ha ha - funny.
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From: yummymummy
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat, Margaret replied, "Shoulda' bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda' bought a hat."

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From: Dub
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.

Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.

Just as his wife comes home, the Viagra kicks in and it's hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.

"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"

The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs of a frozen chicken?"

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From: snapper
Posted: 6 August 2010
A Friday Joke.
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

?I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

?Why, that?s amazing!? the doctor said, ?Did you follow my instructions??

The Irishman nodded.?I?ll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t?aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.?

?From the hunger, you mean?? asked the doctor.

?No, from the ******? skippin?
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